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It wouldn't be right to talk about my undergrad without mentioning my co-op experience. It taught me a lot about life, and I still use what I learned there today.

Since my university is known for its engineering college, it's not surprising that the engineering college itself has its own co-op office, separate to that of the university co-op program. The ladies in this office work tirelessly all year round setting up relationships with companies from all over the United States and internationally, meeting with each and every engineering student to polish his/her resume, and planning and hosting massive career fairs that have so many companies in attendance that they not only have to be held more than once a year, but also take up all of the space in our student union and cannot hold every company who wishes to come and find bright new workers. (The co-op office also keeps lists of all the students for future use, so if a past graduate finds himself/herself out of work, they can just return to the university and be put back on the list to get in contact with companies who are hiring.) An engineering track has two possibilities: co-op and non co-op. A non co-op is simple: 4 years of school, then you graduate. The co-op option increases the bachelor to 5 years, and starting with the summer semester between sophomore and junior year, the student starts a co-op position with a company and then rotates every other semester school, co-op, school, co-op, until graduation. I chose co-op. (Oh, I forgot to mention, the co-op is paid, too)

I began like all students, attending the career fair. It was daunting. There were so many companies! It was nerve racking too: these "meet and greets" were like mini-interviews, and interviews are stressful no matter what the situation. You got a highly organized list of all the companies in attendance, who was looking for what: co-op, full time, etc; and then there was a map. A week before the fair you had time to highlight which companies were looking for your major, which companies were looking for co-ops, where they would be seated, and then researching their company to see if you would even be interested. The day of the fair, it was go time.

I ran around to all of the companies with whom I wished to interview. After the fair, the companies would contact the co-op office and give a list of students they would like to see, or if they were coming to campus for on-campus interviews, we had the ability to sign up for interviews. I had something like 13 interviews - it was exhausting. My first interview was with a very well known tire company. I hated them. I have to laugh when I say that, but it was true. I don't know why I hated them. I guess maybe it was because they were this big business and they ran a big business model and I found no human quality to them. Why did I interview with them? Simple: for practice. Why not start off interviews with an interview you don't really care about? It gives you time to practice, see how the interviewing works, and get your nerves straightened out. The guy doing the interview was very young and I thought he was a bit cocky. Ok, so cocky isn't exactly a technical term, but that's how I would describe him.

It's worth mentioning that the one thing I refused to do was dress up for the interviews. I have always been a rebel about dress code. You could say that I am almost completely against any kind of dress code. I always snuck around the dress code when I went to private school: I would have two earrings in each ear instead of one or I would wear nail polish. Yes, I always got in trouble, but I refused to give in. Even when I worked at the Cadillac dealer putting files away, I almost never followed their dress code (which was extremely conservative - and 100% against my personality). Also, getting me in trouble over my dress is pretty much the only way someone can offend me. I won't get offended over anything really, but if you tell me that I'm "inappropriate" because of something I'm wearing, well, I just go nuts and usually end up in a crying mess. No, I didn't dye my hair bright colors, I have no tattoos, and I didn't wear holed jeans or mini skirts, but I didn't dress conservatively either. I always hated the idea that my intelligence or work ethic was in any way related to the way I dressed or did my makeup. I still think that way today. I guess that's one of the many reasons I'm glad I'm in France: it's not shocking to see someone in their 40's working in a very nice boutique who has piercings...but more on the "American work standard" versus the rest of the world later.

I mention this first interview because, as it turns out, the guy doing the interviews went to the co-op office and complained about me and the way I was dressed. I wore my normal school clothes, which mostly consisted of two pairs of pants, two shirts, a sweatshirt, and maybe a jacket since it was in the dead of winter in Northeast Ohio. I had refused to dress up for the interviews because it was beyond freezing cold and I had to leave a class early, go to the interview, and then go to my next class late. I thought it was stupid for a company to expect me to change into a suit just for them. They were coming on campus, I practically live on campus, so take me as I am. If I were going to an on-site interview, I would gladly wear a suit because I had time to get ready, I would drive my jeep there with the heat blasting, but not on campus. I was wrong. I got yelled at...again. So, from then on, I wore a suit. I didn't do my hair or makeup because I usually got to school around 6:00 or 7:00 and didn't leave until 23:00, but if it meant that much to them, then fine. Whatever. Of course, after this I was bitter and was even more glad that I didn't want to work for this tire company. A few weeks later I got a call from them asking for a second interview. I wasn't interested, and per the message on my phone, I didn't respond, but they kept calling me! I found it hilarious. They even got in contact with the co-op office to ask me to come in for an on-site interview! Really? You have that much of a problem with my dress but you won't leave me alone when I'm not interested? I went to the on-site interview, in a suit, and I still wasn't interested. Needless to say, I didn't end up working there.

I accepted a job with a company out of a smaller city who manufactured can lids (not the cans, just the lids). I was working as a co-op manufacturing engineer. I liked the company. First, they didn't complain about my dress. Second, they were red-necks, like me at the time, so that was a huge plus. I had just finished working as a mechanic and I liked getting my hands dirty by physically solving problems rather than being at a desk and working behind a computer all day.

When you work as a co-op you can stay with the same company throughout your undergrad, or you can change companies with each rotation. I chose to stay. I was really enjoying myself. I wasn't very close with the engineers, but the mechanics working on the assembly lines became great work friends. I could think like them, and they liked that. They enjoyed having an engineer who could understand what they were talking about and who could not only visualize their problems but was willing to physically help solve them. As a mechanic myself, I felt for them and tried to make their problems a priority. It was very common for the engineers to give me a problem that needed to be solved, and when I asked the mechanics about it, to find out that it really wasn't a problem at all or that it had already been solved. I became a link between the engineer's theoretical solution and the mechanic's real-life solution, and I had the vocabulary and training to translate between these two worlds. I do have to be completely honest in that the mechanics also enjoyed that their new-found liaison was an attractive, young, red-headed woman - and this fact, and the small matter of nepotism, would eventually lead to my resignation.

Nepotism. In short, that is what drove this company. The head boss of one of the plants was the brother of the head boss of the other plant. One of the lead mechanics was married to one of the ladies who packed the can lids and his son was another mechanic. Two more of the lead mechanics were brothers. The girlfriend of one of these brothers worked in shipping. The list goes on. Basically, every one who worked there was related to at least three other people who worked there, save me and a few other employees. If they were not related, they had known each other since childhood or they were married to a distant family member. So, as you can imagine, my problems began as problems do: rumors. Any man that I spoke with immediately had some sexual tie to me, especially if we got along. Those rumors spread to the homes, to the wives of those men, etc. A huge storm was brewing and I hadn't a clue about it. Things heated up after the one of the mechanics and his girlfriend told the wife of his brother, who was another mechanic, that there was something between us. To be perfectly honest, we were friends, and I was very happy to call him a friend. This man was one of the sweetest men who worked there, and also one of the smartest. I loved working with him not only because of his kindness but also because he was one of the most experienced, so he literally made my job easier. We did have lunch together sometimes, but that wasn't odd to me because I also had lunch with other co-workers, yes, most of them men. But for some reason it was this man's brother and his brother's girlfriend who decided that I was a problem and that I needed to go.

My work environment became hostel when the brother lashed out at me one day. I didn't know why and I didn't understand. I asked my friend what was wrong with his brother, and he told me of the rumors going around. I thought it was silly. I mean, if this man were a woman or if I were a man, there would be nothing wrong, but this man was a man, unhappily married and friends with an attractive 21 year old red-headed engineer. Of course, that only meant the worst. I avoided the brother and became aware of a "being watched" feeling as I went to work. I began to take more notice of my surroundings, who spoke with who, who was paying attention to me, and what, if I could find out, was being said. The more I found out, the more I realized that these rumors ran much deeper than I had imagined, all the way up to the top. It wasn't enjoyable working there anymore, and I began avoiding leaving my office and being careful of everything I said, where I went, and what I did.

It all came to a head at the company dinner. It was supposed to be a nice night and I was excited. I got dressed up and went to the reception hall. I was seated with the other engineers, which made me sad because I wasn't friends with any of them and I would have much rather sat with the other mechanics or the people with whom I worked everyday, but I was polite and tried to enjoy myself nonetheless. It was when I saw this man's wife that everything became very clear to me. He was in his 40's, very attractive, kind, gentle, not egotistical in any way. I had heard all the rumors about him (along with most of the other people who worked there as well) and it was well known that he was married before until he left his first wife for his current wife, who many said stole him and tricked him out of his first marriage. No, his first marriage wasn't happy, but neither was his second. He had a son with his first wife, and now a young boy with his second. She, on the other hand, was something else. I guess the best way to put it, for those of you familiar with reality tv, was that she made Snooki look normal. She was short, much shorter than he, with long dark brown hair that was died a light blond in chunks all around, highly teased. She was wearing a dress that I would have found much more appropriate for a middle school prom: black and hot pink, short. Her skin...I don't know how to describe it except that she must live in a tanning bed. She wasn't black, no. She wasn't dark brown...well, maybe dark brown with an orange glow. Her makeup was extremely heavy, not at all appropriate for her age...alright, to be honest, I hope no one wears their makeup like this. It was blatantly clear to me that this man's kindness was not just kindness but also submissiveness. I felt for him. He had no backbone, and this woman ran him just the way she wanted. Obviously she had a problem with growing older and was therefore easily intimidated.

So, what did I do? Well, I just couldn't let an opportunity like this pass me by. I had to test the waters all the way to the end: I walked up to their table, said hi to everyone, and introduced myself to her and gave her all the compliments in the world about how lovely it was to meet her, how beautiful she was (because even if I don't approve of her physical appearance, I don't know her, and it matters who you are on the inside, not out, so I wasn't lying; also, every woman is beautiful, even if it may be hard to see in some), and then complimented her on how wonderful her husband is and how he makes my life easier and is a joy to work with. Then it happened. The brother made a bee-line for the table and practically yelled at me to get up and follow him, in front of everyone. I was frightened by the look on his face and his tone of voice. I followed him outside. He had me up against the wall and yelled at me, nose to nose, to stay the hell away from his brother, and then returned inside. At that point I just broke down. I was shaking, crying, and in utter shock. I had wanted to test the waters, and damn did I test them. I had expected to simply see how insecure this woman was, not to see the abusive tendencies of her brother-in-law.

Like I said, there were many witnesses to this event, so it was within a matter of minutes that one of the managers and the HR manager had me pulled aside to figure out what had just happened. I told them everything. We agreed to further address the issue the next day of work, and if I needed to be escorted to my car that they would find someone to help me. Some of my other co-workers reached out to me and convinced me to stay. We left the dinner and went across the street to a dance club. They did a great job helping me to forget what had just happened, and I ended the evening on a high note: having an enjoyable time dancing the night away with people who cared.

The day before I went into work I couldn't sleep. The entire ride there I was stressed (which is saying a lot since it was an hour ride one way). I was shaking as I entered the parking lot. I made sure to get there early as to avoid the brother, or anyone really, and I quickly went into my office, always keeping an eye out through the window. I jumped every time someone opened the door. The brother had physically come at me, and I wasn't going to find out if he could or would become more physical than just yelling at me at close range. I called my co-op office and told them everything about what had happened. My mother knew as well. I made sure to have witnesses to everything that went on. The manager who had spoken to me before called me into a meeting. It was him, the head of the plant, and the HR manager. They asked me to close the door and sit down. My gut was screaming at me that something wasn't right, so I listened to it and cautiously answered their questions. All three of them were on one side of the table, with me alone on the other. They informed me that the brother was at the other plant that day, and for the rest of the week, but not because of what happened, rather because they simply needed him there. I found this to be strange. If they wanted to protect me or reassure me, wouldn't they have just sent him there because of what happened? To keep us apart? They mentioned this more than once, and I found it odd that they kept insisting that he wasn't moved because of his actions, but rather because of regular work-related matters. The entire time we talked they tried to make light of the situation. They asked what had happened leading up to the events of the dinner. They kept prodding for answers I didn't have and making excuses for the brother. It was all so eerie to me, so again, I answered cautiously. At the end of the meeting I was joking with them about non related matters so that they would let me leave. My mother texted me and I looked at my phone. Immediately my manager made an uneasy laugh and said, "Oh, ha ha, hey, by the way, you weren't taping this conversation, were you?" I knew something was wrong. I told him the truth, that I wasn't, but at that moment I wish I had.

I returned to my desk and phoned my mother from the company phone. She was so upset about how they had treated me and what they had said during the meeting. She suggested that I don't go in again without someone from outside as a witness to stand up for me. They called me back to the meeting room. I went there, put my hands on the door and asked them what they needed. They asked me to come in and close the door. I told them no. They could tell me whatever it was they needed to tell me right where I was standing. They refused and asked me again to come in. Again, I refused. Something was very wrong with this place, and all I knew was that I needed to get out. Finally, I left, having never gone in the room. I returned to my office and phoned my mother, again using the company phone. There are lights on the phones and you can see who is on a line and who isn't. I began to realize that they were waiting for me to get off the line, so I stayed on. I locked my office door and kept talking with my mother as I gathered my things. My manager came by about 15 min later only to find the door locked. My office was in the middle of the plant floor, and I was one of two people with the key, so he couldn't get in. He left, and when I felt that it was safe, I snuck out to my car and drove off. I never went back.

The co-op office knew of everything that took place. The company never said a word to the co-op office. We all just left it as it was, however that was. Looking back, I think it was insane that a 21 year old woman had to go through something like that, as a student simply working during college, but now I'm glad it happened. As with everything, it was a learning experience, a very messed up learning experience, but still a learning experience. I am now more aware of my surroundings, not only at a job but in life. I have learned to pay attention to how I act and what I say, and to the reactions of those around me. I also know that if I ever learn that everyone in a company is related to everyone else, it's time to leave.

So far I have not had another job experience like that, but I will never say never. I thought that my horrible experience at my community college would never happen again...unfortunately, I was wrong.
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